The birthday celebration started a day early, Friday, when Mom and Dad decided to treat us to dinner at Bel Ami, downtown. It was a great restaurant but for the price Dad ended up shelling out for all six of us I could have asked for better food. Then again the tsiramisu was awesome, but who could screw that up?

After dinner Brian and Ching joined Ray and I at Finn's for drinks and a couple of games on the Megatouch machine. Ching is now a Word Dojo addict. Ray and I did not stay out very late, especially since he felt like he was comming down with something. Regardless, he did force himself up the next day to take me shopping, and then to dinner at Redrock and drinks at the new blues bar, Liquid. That was my birthday present, which sorta spilled over to today. I took pics of everything I bought the day of, but don't have time for the stuff I got today. But you get the idea...I'm spoiled.

You're Beautiful
~ James Blunt

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F**king high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

***************************

It's a completely overplayed song but it fits so well.

Last night I was - out. The usual shananigans, started out with plans of an after party, a liqour list, and tons of running around while dodging unwanted calls and baiting with text messages. Officially single, official because I feel this time it's right, and I was off to be "my old self" again. Walking in to make a scene, and I did. The bar was packed more than usual due to the Night Before Thanksgiving Alcohol Panic. I never left the bar I started at, but I can't remember where abouts in the bar I was at. The bar is itty-bitty but somehow I always had a new spot to stand in. I made a lot of friends. Well, maybe not friends, half I can't remember but I spoke to a multitude I'm sure. Ah, "my old self," my teeth hurt and my lips chapped from the non-stop grinning.

Finally, as the night was winding down, and I was sitting on the ledge, I was struck sober by the sight of a complete stranger. And amidst the drunken madness he looked so out of place. I say to myself it was his eyes, but more I think it was the flip flops he was wearing. He reminded me of a boy I trusted a long time ago, a friendship that went sour too fast, getting hurt and hurting back. Immediately there was silence, in my head, in my heart, the sound of my own thoughts more deafening than the night life. Despite my newly practiced social skills, I never spoke to him, he and his friend eventually got up and left, our only interaction was watching each other through the glass walls as he and his friend walked towards the parking lots.

I'll never speak to him, because he will break an expectation that I set within the first 3 seconds of laying eyes on him. I will never see him again, because even if we do cross paths tomorrow or next year, I will never be in the same state, and he won't be that guy anymore, not for me. In an instant I knew who I was, "my old self" is a shy, quiet and hopeless dreamer always caught by surprise by the inevitable disappointment. The brasen girl who you now know is a product of years of deceit, neglect and heartache. And I don't think I'm changing back.

*stolen from someone who I'm sure stole it from someone who stole it...right? Thank God for Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V.

Dear Alcohol:

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work jager shot to help me with my pool game, a beer while watching my favorite choke artists (the k.c. chiefs), and you're even around during the holidays hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is
important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity take place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball sandwich and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me.

Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3 p.m. hangover immobility is completely unacceptable! My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3 p.m. (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you.



P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity

2. British Constitution

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

4. Oily Linoleum

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

2. Nope, no more beer or jager bombs for me. (mikey!!! lol)

3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

I'm far from vegan but this stuff is wrong! And totally disgusting! Ugh! No words - I have no words!

In an effort to make extra cash I signed up to become an Independent Sales Rep for Mark by Avon. Of course, door to door is not my style so I've been working on an online store to help my laziness. Nothing is uploaded yet but I plan on getting it atleast up and functional in the by tomorrow. Here's a preview:

PICT0190
Originally uploaded by _crankymonkey.

Ain't no talkin to this man
Ain't no pretty other side
Ain't no way to understand
The stupid words of pride
It would take an acrobat,
And I already tried all that
I'm gonna let him fly

Things can move at such a pace
The second hand just waved goodbye
You know the light has left his face
But you can't recall just where or why
So there was really nothing to it
I just went and cut right through it
I said I'm gonna let him fly yeah

There's no mercy in a live wire
No rest at all in freedom
The choices we are given it's no choice at all
The proof is in the fire
You touch before it moves away
But you must always know how long to stay
And when to go

And there ain't no talkin to this man
He's been tryin to tell me so
It took awhile to understand
The beauty of just letting go
Cause it would take an acrobat,
I already tried all that
I'm gonna let him fly

I'm gonna let him fly fly
I'm gonna let him fly